The Daily Telegraph (Australia)
July 1, 2011

“Research confirms a good education is the key to getting a job.”

Earth-shattering news from a press release issued by federal Minister for Tertiary Education Senator Chris Evans.

“I just thought it was a funny picture.”

Egyptian communications millionaire Naguib Sawiris, facing widespread Islamic condemnation after posting images on Twitter of Mickey and Minnie Mouse in Muslim attire.

“It’s common sense that a disarmament body should not be headed by the world’s arch-villain on illegal weapons and nuclear proliferation, notorious for exporting missiles and nuclear know-how to fellow rogue regimes around the globe.”

Hillel Neuer, executive director of UN Watch, following news that nuclear-armed dictatorship North Korea will chair a conference on disarmament.

“Rapest.”

Misspelled accusation tattooed on the forehead of Oklahoma man Steson Johnson. Four people were sent to prison yesterday for the tattoo attack.

“I just have a lot of Jewish friends and I didn’t want them to feel marginalised. Also I love hot chocolate.”

UNSW student Damonn Mehrpour explains why he attended a counter-protest at Parramatta’s Max Brenner chocolate cafe, under fire over its support for Israel.

“Very embarrassing and shouldn’t have happened. It’s unacceptable.”

Seattle police spokesman Sergeant Sean Whitcomb after a semi-automatic AR-15 rifle was left on the bootlid of an unattended police cruiser.

“I’m often on the way to work, so I’ve spent two hours having my hair and make-up done, and I’m wearing work clothes.”

Elle Macpherson explains why she’s glammed up when she drops her son off at school.

UN Watch